Sometimes it feels like much of our lives are filled with attempts at re-making ourselves, or trying to redo mistakes. I actually like mistakes. Don’t get me wrong, often times they hurt a lot. I like them though because you learn from them, grow from them.
But I’m tired of feeling like I’m trying to re-do myself.
We all have natural points in our lives where it is inevitable that we try to change ourselves or “improve who we are”. Pre-pubescence into post- puberty is one perfect example. Othertimes, we’re kinda suckers for tragedy, leaning on the black eyes and bleeding lips to wake us up to the reality that we aren’t being who we wanted to be.
Unfortunately, I feel like I’ve been on a constant two-year cycle of attempting to “remake the man” since I can remember; First days of high school, first days after my suicide attempt junior year, first days of college, first days of going away to university, first days after graduation, first days of Peace Corps… I don’t regret any of them. They were needed. At the time these have all been the forms of Nathan that have needed to exist.
But when does it end.
When do I stop trying to hit the restart button, and simply decide to keep building onto the solid framework of myself that has already been built?
1 comment:
In one, simple word: Heaven. Not until we reach the other side of eternity do we ever stop trying. How we respond to and what motivates us to respond to each do-over is what, ultimately, determines our destiny. The beautiful truth is that those of us who trust in the Truth never have to worry about reaching perfection or wholeness. It's something that we can't reach on our own, but it's already been accomplished in one final act. It is finished, my friend. Pursue what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good reputation, of excellence, and anything worthy of praise.
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