Transition in the Presence of God

Change. At this moment it is the most illustrious thing in my life. Two significant eras of my existence on this planet have come to a close, but am I ready for it?

I have been privileged for the last to years to attend a beautiful university and graduate with a crisp piece of paper with an estimated cost of close to $10,000. I say this sardonically not out of ungratefulness or disrespect, for I am very thankful for the sacrifices, encouragement, and support of many people (especially my parents) enabling me to be one of the 1%of the global population to receive a higher education, but I say this as a man in reflection. What did I pay for? Yes, skills and knowledge that everyone says I needed, but I think that hefty sum of money paid for things that I could never have expect, things that very few get to encounter.

I left Oroville two years ago a very different individual. As someone once put it eloquently, I was "a human being on the fringes of my community." Everyone knew I was around. I existed on some level, but I wasn't completely connected. I wasn't happy, I wasn't a whole being. I'd seen several of my friends leave Oroville and when they returned on breaks they would profess how much they missed the community here. I believed them but I couldn't see it, I couldn't feel it myself.

Then I left.

I came to Sonoma State University, knowing no one. The freshest start one could imagine. I couldn't have possibly imagined how good and fruitful that new start would be. I connected with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship and met amazing people. I fell into a community of believers with different backgrounds, different struggles, different loves. Yet, above all, had the same passion for God. I laughed, I loved, I cried. I made mistakes, and struggled with hard truths and realities, in tandem, that I feel most Christians wouldn't even put on their radar, and I found God.

I now have left that community that I love so dearly, friends that I could never replace, and an experience I would never sacrifice for anything in this world, to return to where I once started. I had hesitations to say the least. What if I slip back to who I was before? What if I don't find the same acceptance for who I am? Will loose sight of what I have learned? These last few days have been hard and there have been more than enough tears but I know this is where I am supposed to be for now.

John 21 v. 1-14 have been an encouragement it letting me know that I am in the right place. I will be leaving for a six week cultural emersion missions trip to Lima, Peru to live, partner with, and learn from the urban poor who live there. It will be a time of great trial and growth and I will see God in a whole new way and once again come back a different person than when I left. But in the time being I need to be in Oroville. In the verses mentioned above the disciples were facing a time of loss after Jesus' death, a time of transition from the way things had been. They saw God because they were where they knew to be, did what they knew to do, looked for Jesus' presence, and offered what they had. They were able to commune with God before they set out on the path God had laid before them that would take them through the rest of their life.

So that is where I am now. Things have changed dramatically from they way they were but no matter how difficult it may seem everything will be alright because I am in the presence of God.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29 v. 11

Shalom.