This past weekend has always been one of my favorite "escapes" but i do have to say this Labor Day weekend has to be my favorite.
Not only was it completely relaxing and rejuvenating in ways i didn't think i needed, but I also got to spend amazing time with God and wonderful friends!
I feel also that God is challenging me to step out of my comfort box and do things that i normally wouldn't dream of doing. I also feel as if he's telling me that if I want to go to santa cruz that he wants me to do it but to be open for spontaneous changes and not to "plan ahead" so much and lean on him
Monday, August 25, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Reminiscence
Today a really good friend, who i haven't been able to hang out with for a long time, showed up at The Axiom.
We talked and messed around with photo booth on Chuck's lap top for a while. It was an exorbitant amount of fun, she makes me laugh soooo stinking much, I wish that situations were different and things were like they used to. Maybe they will, but i guess times come and go, thats why carpi momentum (as Garrett would say) is important!
Well boys night in an hour, can i get a wooop wooop!
Love you all,
~[N]
Quote of the Day: " It is like when a house burns down, it isn't for years that you realize the full extent of the loss." ~Mark Twain
We talked and messed around with photo booth on Chuck's lap top for a while. It was an exorbitant amount of fun, she makes me laugh soooo stinking much, I wish that situations were different and things were like they used to. Maybe they will, but i guess times come and go, thats why carpi momentum (as Garrett would say) is important!
Well boys night in an hour, can i get a wooop wooop!
Love you all,
~[N]
Quote of the Day: " It is like when a house burns down, it isn't for years that you realize the full extent of the loss." ~Mark Twain
Monday, August 18, 2008
This is the Way that I Am
The late night insomnia has set in once again and once again I've have been thinking.
Tonights topic: Why God places people into our lives.
I've been able to be with some amazing people, especially over the last month....and I don't know how to emotionally handle it.
Some of these people I've known for years but never had the chance to truly get to know them before now, for only God knows what reason. And thats part of the question why does God place people when, where, and how he does. It feels like I've missed out on so much and yet there was really no opportunity before now for these relationships to form....and now so shortly after they have been formed, my newly found friends have to leave. Thats all it ever feels like, I get close to someone and God takes them away....every time...
I'm becoming, now especially, more and more afraid of opening up and deepening two specific relationships that have been created over the last few weeks. They have become such an integral part of my life in less than three weeks, and yet to know they we'll have to leave in such a short time...wondering if it all matters...for them, and inevitably myself as well. I don't want to appear desperate, and yet I hate being alone, I've tasted what It feels like to not be for the first time in 19yrs, and I don't want to go back. Yet there feels like an invisible wall of already deeply formed relationships and lives in other places, and I'm just a part of a temporary, quickly fleeting chapter. It feels more self destructive then healthy...
Maybe I think to much....part of me knows I should live for the moment and cherish the time that has been given, but the other part questions if I can/do/will make as much of an impression on others as they seem to have on me...or do I just care too much...
And that all leads me to relationships of the past, and how I've screwed up....
I once held the key and now I have nothing, I'm sorry for leading you along, I know its my own faults that have brought me down, it's a constant battle. I'm sorry I'm just a man.
I know theres more to life. I just want to know people, but I feel nobody wants to be known, or even knows what it means TO be known....
Tonights topic: Why God places people into our lives.
I've been able to be with some amazing people, especially over the last month....and I don't know how to emotionally handle it.
Some of these people I've known for years but never had the chance to truly get to know them before now, for only God knows what reason. And thats part of the question why does God place people when, where, and how he does. It feels like I've missed out on so much and yet there was really no opportunity before now for these relationships to form....and now so shortly after they have been formed, my newly found friends have to leave. Thats all it ever feels like, I get close to someone and God takes them away....every time...
I'm becoming, now especially, more and more afraid of opening up and deepening two specific relationships that have been created over the last few weeks. They have become such an integral part of my life in less than three weeks, and yet to know they we'll have to leave in such a short time...wondering if it all matters...for them, and inevitably myself as well. I don't want to appear desperate, and yet I hate being alone, I've tasted what It feels like to not be for the first time in 19yrs, and I don't want to go back. Yet there feels like an invisible wall of already deeply formed relationships and lives in other places, and I'm just a part of a temporary, quickly fleeting chapter. It feels more self destructive then healthy...
Maybe I think to much....part of me knows I should live for the moment and cherish the time that has been given, but the other part questions if I can/do/will make as much of an impression on others as they seem to have on me...or do I just care too much...
And that all leads me to relationships of the past, and how I've screwed up....
I once held the key and now I have nothing, I'm sorry for leading you along, I know its my own faults that have brought me down, it's a constant battle. I'm sorry I'm just a man.
I know theres more to life. I just want to know people, but I feel nobody wants to be known, or even knows what it means TO be known....
Sunday, August 17, 2008
The First
Yesterday was my first ever Warped Tour! O and let me tell you it was pretty amazing...
Cue list of Shows:
Quote of the Day: "Our lives begin to end to day we become silent about things that matter." -Martin Luther King Jr.
Cue list of Shows:
11:45 - The Classic Crime!!!So pretty much a full and amazing day....and yet I couldn't get enough, cause right after getting home went to play fugitive at Axiom...yeah I'm nuts...but at least I got chased this time, stupid Caleb =), and distracted them enough to get Kinsey and Natja back to Axiom.
12:15 - Norma Jean!!
12:55 - We The Kings
1:45 - Alesana!!!
2:15 - Rise Against
3:45 - Against Me/ Bring me the Horizon
4:15 - Mayday Parade!!!
4:45 - Cobra Starship
5:15 - From First To Last
5:45 - Story of the Year
6:10 - Devil Wears Prada!!!
6:45 - Say Anything
7:15 - Gym Class
7:45 Angels and Airwaves!!!
8:15 - Anberlin!!!!!
**exclamation marks denote extra excitement
Quote of the Day: "Our lives begin to end to day we become silent about things that matter." -Martin Luther King Jr.
Friday, August 15, 2008
The Chat
This is the span of the last two days...
It all started yesterday morning when I was supposed to meet with Garrett but he apparently sent me a text, that I never got, that told me that he needed sleep and couldn't meet that morning.....so unknowing of this text i enter the McCoy house to find Garrett sleeping away , and i just happened to think Garrett had just accidentally oversleep...soo i messed with him a little to wake him up...and as you can undoubtedly tell he wasn't very happy....but he took it all well so i left early...poor guy!
Anyway so the rest of the day was pretty much a blazay day of catching up on reading and watching some Olympics. But at four i had my first vocal lesson with Amy Hayse which was AMAZING....she makes it so much fun...we worked on committing to the notes (breathing wise) in general and harmony for the song Marvelous Light. Afterwards I went to our small groups softball game in at the Thermalito fields....which we won by like two points i think...it was sooo close but i got to play left field and hit a double....but didn't get to make it home =(.
Shortly after the game went to Stephanie's house and swam with her Chuck, Tyler, and Jessie...Melinda showed up later and we all played colors and sharks and minnows...Chuck, Tyler and I then went back to the appartment and watched Hot Fuzz while eating popcorn and drinking Big Gulp $.99 refill Slurpees.....finally fell asleep around 2:30.
Today started off by having and outstanding worship band practice...we played so well and it was double by feeling God come in and envelope us as we worshiped...unfortunately we had o end at 10...and i had to head off to work....which went well but i'm just really getting tired of being placed in the last or second to the last sections....I talked to Lisa (the manager that does our schedules) so hopefull things will change soon but who knows....
So i went back to Axiom to volunteer....pretty much extremely boring because not very many kids are coming in any more and none of them want to get any coffee drinks so working the Cafe can get a little dull...but i got to talk to Tyler for quite awhile and he asked me to tell him my testimony which I did but was extremely difficult...remembering all the parts of my life....especially to someone I'm only beginning to get to know....but he's quickly becoming one of my best friends and its about time I'm able to face my past again....
well i still have at least 3 more hours to be awake so I'm going to go make the best of it.
Take luck,
~[N]athan
Quote of the Day: " Love puts all logic aside, or else we wouldn't ever risk it"
It all started yesterday morning when I was supposed to meet with Garrett but he apparently sent me a text, that I never got, that told me that he needed sleep and couldn't meet that morning.....so unknowing of this text i enter the McCoy house to find Garrett sleeping away , and i just happened to think Garrett had just accidentally oversleep...soo i messed with him a little to wake him up...and as you can undoubtedly tell he wasn't very happy....but he took it all well so i left early...poor guy!
Anyway so the rest of the day was pretty much a blazay day of catching up on reading and watching some Olympics. But at four i had my first vocal lesson with Amy Hayse which was AMAZING....she makes it so much fun...we worked on committing to the notes (breathing wise) in general and harmony for the song Marvelous Light. Afterwards I went to our small groups softball game in at the Thermalito fields....which we won by like two points i think...it was sooo close but i got to play left field and hit a double....but didn't get to make it home =(.
Shortly after the game went to Stephanie's house and swam with her Chuck, Tyler, and Jessie...Melinda showed up later and we all played colors and sharks and minnows...Chuck, Tyler and I then went back to the appartment and watched Hot Fuzz while eating popcorn and drinking Big Gulp $.99 refill Slurpees.....finally fell asleep around 2:30.
Today started off by having and outstanding worship band practice...we played so well and it was double by feeling God come in and envelope us as we worshiped...unfortunately we had o end at 10...and i had to head off to work....which went well but i'm just really getting tired of being placed in the last or second to the last sections....I talked to Lisa (the manager that does our schedules) so hopefull things will change soon but who knows....
So i went back to Axiom to volunteer....pretty much extremely boring because not very many kids are coming in any more and none of them want to get any coffee drinks so working the Cafe can get a little dull...but i got to talk to Tyler for quite awhile and he asked me to tell him my testimony which I did but was extremely difficult...remembering all the parts of my life....especially to someone I'm only beginning to get to know....but he's quickly becoming one of my best friends and its about time I'm able to face my past again....
well i still have at least 3 more hours to be awake so I'm going to go make the best of it.
Take luck,
~[N]athan
Quote of the Day: " Love puts all logic aside, or else we wouldn't ever risk it"
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
And Thus it Begins...
Welcome to the beginning of my journey as a blogger!
Hopefully I'll be able to overcome this Alexithymia of mine, and share with you regularly whats on my heart and mind.
I really don't know what to begin with (cue the inability to express in words my emotions)....yesterday was one of the most fun and craziest concerts I have been to in a loooong time! All the bands were wonderful but Devil Wears Prada, by far was the best performance I have seen since Emery. And beside the amazing music, the people also made the night. I mostly hung out with Caleb, Tyler, and Alyssa (Caleb's girlfriend) who made the concert twice as fun. I have to say Alyssa is one of the most spunky and tough girls I have met in a long time, throwing kids around and getting smashed in the faced and still kept on rocking...so cool. So between the music, putting people on Tyler's team, and nearly being shanked outside of the theater...it was one of the funnest nights I've had in a long time.
So theres the most updated snippet of my life to date...
Love you all,
~[N}athan
Quote of the day: Phil. 4:8 " We are spiritual beings, and everything that touches our lives has spiritual implications."...
Hopefully I'll be able to overcome this Alexithymia of mine, and share with you regularly whats on my heart and mind.
I really don't know what to begin with (cue the inability to express in words my emotions)....yesterday was one of the most fun and craziest concerts I have been to in a loooong time! All the bands were wonderful but Devil Wears Prada, by far was the best performance I have seen since Emery. And beside the amazing music, the people also made the night. I mostly hung out with Caleb, Tyler, and Alyssa (Caleb's girlfriend) who made the concert twice as fun. I have to say Alyssa is one of the most spunky and tough girls I have met in a long time, throwing kids around and getting smashed in the faced and still kept on rocking...so cool. So between the music, putting people on Tyler's team, and nearly being shanked outside of the theater...it was one of the funnest nights I've had in a long time.
So theres the most updated snippet of my life to date...
Love you all,
~[N}athan
Quote of the day: Phil. 4:8 " We are spiritual beings, and everything that touches our lives has spiritual implications."...
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