I wanna know what'd it would be like to find perfection in my worldview.
To be blinded by pride that comes with never having stepped outside my little box.
To see nothing in the light.
To turn it off and never analyze the things I've held most strongly to.
The funny thing about growing is you can't just turn it off.
In my year and a half in Oregon, I've had to reanalyze things a million times over.
And I've found some amazing things. Both dark and painful, beautiful and full of hope.
The worst part is that, before things get better, often times it takes a solid fall off a cliff. The Free Fall was muddling through all that Africa taught me, about justice, and freedom and of mortality.
Through it all however, I've realized that I'm better off for hitting the bottom. It lends a new perspective, only being able to look up.
There was a lot of tragedy for others that seemed unending which joined the Free Fall. I watched many that I looked up to bend and others break, taking shortcuts and attempting false solutions, simply to keep face, and come out looking like the hero. I discovered how shallow morality and being 'upstanding' can be when it's faced with the hardness of life. I got glimpses of what's behind the curtain, saw the people behind the masks they'd been wearing.
I've come to appreciate people as the sum of who they are, past mistakes and all. It's wrong the way we've been working, hiding who we are to save "Face".
That's what true love is. People say they know it, I've come to believe most don't, or at least don't know how to demonstrate it. It's not forcing others to meet your "standards", but caring for them, seeing them as an equal.
Human.
No matter how they differ from oneself.
It's a shame we remain such fragile broken things. Butterflies with punctured wings, floundering in the mud.
What a mystery we've made of Love and other things.
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