I really love hiking and exploring and it is so beautiful up here in the foothills of the Rift Valley that I do it quite a lot. Walking around forces you to meet and greet people along the way, not to mention that it absolutely helps me to clear my head.
I was reading a story about a guy who does a lot of backpacking and other exploring type trips and in it he says something that caught my attention; “When your exploring you are never really lost as long as you keep going, it is only when you look back that you become lost.”
Most days things are great. I feel “in the groove” so to speak. Yet every now and then I start to long for home and dwell on certain things I miss too much and get myself into a funk. This happened to me the other day. I looked back.
The area surrounding Ngorika reminds me remarkably of Oregon, which made me realize I am going to miss our family’s annual Polar Bear Jump on the 1st of the year, which, well you get the picture.
I’m not saying that I shouldn’t remember good times, or try to forget people or things in the past. Simply that now I need to remain forsighted, on what’s to come and the people that are here in my life now.
It is only when I look back that I get lost.
Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
What Love Sometimes is; A Desire for Deepening Relationships -- Pt. 1
There are many times in my life where a relationship felt incomplete, where I would be left with the question, “Does this person have love for me?” The answer is; of course they do, but perhaps it just deep love being unreturned, the simple fact that my love for them might be greater than their love for me.
This brought me to wonder if this case is true for me. What causes me to have shallow love for others? A few realizations came to mind:
1. Often times love expressed is simply to fill an appetite. We are selfish creatures, only basically concerned with meeting our own needs; hanging out with someone to fulfill a need for entertainment, or doing a favour for someone, knowing they will return it someday. What if I was more concerned with meeting other’s needs? What would my relationships look like then?
2. Sometimes love has to be generated by an atmosphere. In a romantic sense; a rose, candle light, or sweet music. Friendship wise; some sports, good food and drink, or a great movie. Yet as I have hear it said, “Real love loves at all times, at the butt-crack of dawn or at gentle twilight, and whether the odor is Chanel No.5 or ‘Perspiration No. 6.’”
3. Most love becomes disinteresting once acquired. I hate this one the most but I know I’ve done it. Often it is the being or having of the relationship that people desire more than the object of the relationship. The worst is when it this happens in relationships with other people, especially if it comes down to bragging rights. Gaining the relationship is just the commencement; real character is never satisfied at this depth.
4. Often love never knows the degree or availability of depth. What do I mean? It should never be simply “in love or out of love” or love or no love. As one begins to learn how to love a whole world of possibilities and growth opens:
“When someone loves you, the way they way your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”
This brought me to wonder if this case is true for me. What causes me to have shallow love for others? A few realizations came to mind:
1. Often times love expressed is simply to fill an appetite. We are selfish creatures, only basically concerned with meeting our own needs; hanging out with someone to fulfill a need for entertainment, or doing a favour for someone, knowing they will return it someday. What if I was more concerned with meeting other’s needs? What would my relationships look like then?
2. Sometimes love has to be generated by an atmosphere. In a romantic sense; a rose, candle light, or sweet music. Friendship wise; some sports, good food and drink, or a great movie. Yet as I have hear it said, “Real love loves at all times, at the butt-crack of dawn or at gentle twilight, and whether the odor is Chanel No.5 or ‘Perspiration No. 6.’”
3. Most love becomes disinteresting once acquired. I hate this one the most but I know I’ve done it. Often it is the being or having of the relationship that people desire more than the object of the relationship. The worst is when it this happens in relationships with other people, especially if it comes down to bragging rights. Gaining the relationship is just the commencement; real character is never satisfied at this depth.
4. Often love never knows the degree or availability of depth. What do I mean? It should never be simply “in love or out of love” or love or no love. As one begins to learn how to love a whole world of possibilities and growth opens:
“When someone loves you, the way they way your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”
Saturday, June 2, 2012
The Reason Why.
Doubt. It is here in these little moments, when the passion seems to slip away and the excitement turns to stillness, that I begin to question if I can still do this. To give up my belongings, my language, my friends and family, my self and love to the deepest of my potential. 'Cause all I keep doing is wonder if what I will be doing really matters. I am unsure of what the future holds.
I cannot do this. At least not on my own. I am, and must continue to always be, planted by the stream of life. Rooted and connected to what is real, and true, and life-giving. The true fountain of life.
It is here I am reminded that even though I feel this way, this; thorn in my flesh, can no longer hold me down because when I place HIM first he will take precedence over everything that comes after. Yes, I will doubt and question my purpose (t)here. Yes, I will at times reckon that what I am doing is self-centered; feeling as though I am gaining an exorbitant amount of knowledge and experience while giving nothing in return. I have been there before!. And it is here again I find the answer whispered to me; "simply remember that everyone matters. Act as if everyone deserves better than you."
That means sacrifice.
"Put your life on hold so that other's may be better." Matthew 5 v. 15 (Message)
That is why, the umbrella reason for my going abroad for 2+ years. I believe that I am working within the kingdom of God for a divine purpose. I am (t)here for a reason that is bigger that even I could possibly know or imagine and it scares the devil to death
"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it for someone else." -Benjamin Franklin
Then I find myself spirit slapped by a back-hand from the Almighty
I cannot do this. At least not on my own. I am, and must continue to always be, planted by the stream of life. Rooted and connected to what is real, and true, and life-giving. The true fountain of life.
It is here I am reminded that even though I feel this way, this; thorn in my flesh, can no longer hold me down because when I place HIM first he will take precedence over everything that comes after. Yes, I will doubt and question my purpose (t)here. Yes, I will at times reckon that what I am doing is self-centered; feeling as though I am gaining an exorbitant amount of knowledge and experience while giving nothing in return. I have been there before!. And it is here again I find the answer whispered to me; "simply remember that everyone matters. Act as if everyone deserves better than you."
That means sacrifice.
"Put your life on hold so that other's may be better." Matthew 5 v. 15 (Message)
That is why, the umbrella reason for my going abroad for 2+ years. I believe that I am working within the kingdom of God for a divine purpose. I am (t)here for a reason that is bigger that even I could possibly know or imagine and it scares the devil to death
"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it for someone else." -Benjamin Franklin
Sunday, May 27, 2012
23
23. It’s not a particularly fabulous number, especially not in any sense of a landmark birthday. Honestly, from here on out there are only a few special numeric age-markers left for me to experience. Those of which include; the year I get to rent a vehicle, my Golden birthday, 30, 50, and God-willing and forbid, 100…
In any case, I may have found myself at the unspectacular marking of another year in the continuous march of time that is my life, however, it will be the least un-extraordinary year that my life will have so far. It’s another year with another life-altering adventure that the tips of my feet are preparing themselves to step into. As with any state of transition a human being finds themselves in, expectations of what is to be have begun to spring up within my mind and take root.
A dear friend of mine brought to my attention the beauty and importance of bringing those expectations to the forefront of your conscious. So, when they are broken (or in some instances met) the impact they have upon your emotional well-being is of less significance. Writing them down helps to address the dissonance that will play itself out when what is expected does not happen. In-as-much, here are 23 (out of many I have written out) expectations I have for this next step in my life:
1. I will be pooping outside in a hole in the ground, bathing in a bucket, and sleeping on a straw mat.
2. Kiswahili will be extremely tough to learn
3. It will take a really long time (if any) to see any outcome from my work
4. My home-stay family will be awesome, but difficult to get close with for some time
5. I will experience God in unimagined ways
6. I will be sick/irregular a lot
7. People I become/am close with might die
8. It will be difficult to share my faith/find a solid community
9. I won’t do well at keeping daily quiet times, but when I do have them they will be phenomenal
10. People will forget about me/move on
11. Important stuff will get stolen
12. This experience will help me come to a decision/find direction for my career life
13. I will love being free from some modern conveniences/distractions (i.e. cell phone, tv, regular internet)
14. Not having regular access to be able to create music will kill me
15. I will come to understand and find security in my identity
16. I will do really well in the beginning at regular journaling and slowly fade into hardly journaling at all
17. Not being up-to-date with new music is going to make me extremely sad
18. I will find solace in creativity
19. Soccer will continue to be a love, and also an enemy (since I will not be able to compete with the Kenyans)
20. Becoming out of touch will popular culture and "the new" will be inevitable (and a God-send in some senses)
21. I will get to see wild African animals up close and personal!
22. I will get Malaria =(
23. People will do really well at written correspondence for a while but I will slowly begin to see regular letters
fade over time
"Call to me and I will answer you. I will tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33 v. 3
In any case, I may have found myself at the unspectacular marking of another year in the continuous march of time that is my life, however, it will be the least un-extraordinary year that my life will have so far. It’s another year with another life-altering adventure that the tips of my feet are preparing themselves to step into. As with any state of transition a human being finds themselves in, expectations of what is to be have begun to spring up within my mind and take root.
A dear friend of mine brought to my attention the beauty and importance of bringing those expectations to the forefront of your conscious. So, when they are broken (or in some instances met) the impact they have upon your emotional well-being is of less significance. Writing them down helps to address the dissonance that will play itself out when what is expected does not happen. In-as-much, here are 23 (out of many I have written out) expectations I have for this next step in my life:
1. I will be pooping outside in a hole in the ground, bathing in a bucket, and sleeping on a straw mat.
2. Kiswahili will be extremely tough to learn
3. It will take a really long time (if any) to see any outcome from my work
4. My home-stay family will be awesome, but difficult to get close with for some time
5. I will experience God in unimagined ways
6. I will be sick/irregular a lot
7. People I become/am close with might die
8. It will be difficult to share my faith/find a solid community
9. I won’t do well at keeping daily quiet times, but when I do have them they will be phenomenal
10. People will forget about me/move on
11. Important stuff will get stolen
12. This experience will help me come to a decision/find direction for my career life
13. I will love being free from some modern conveniences/distractions (i.e. cell phone, tv, regular internet)
14. Not having regular access to be able to create music will kill me
15. I will come to understand and find security in my identity
16. I will do really well in the beginning at regular journaling and slowly fade into hardly journaling at all
17. Not being up-to-date with new music is going to make me extremely sad
18. I will find solace in creativity
19. Soccer will continue to be a love, and also an enemy (since I will not be able to compete with the Kenyans)
20. Becoming out of touch will popular culture and "the new" will be inevitable (and a God-send in some senses)
21. I will get to see wild African animals up close and personal!
22. I will get Malaria =(
23. People will do really well at written correspondence for a while but I will slowly begin to see regular letters
fade over time
"Call to me and I will answer you. I will tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33 v. 3
Sunday, April 22, 2012
"The Secret to Immortality" -Original
The secret to Immortality is there is no secret.
Do not seek it.
Some men strive for it. Die for it.
Some seek to gain it through fame, others fortune.
But it all ends the same.
In utter misery and blame.
Listener heed me. Put out the flame.
The honest man knows that it can't be achieved, only gained.
To live simply, and simply live.
Daringly, lovingly, and with imperceptive humility.
For no man will forget a man like that.
Do not seek it.
Some men strive for it. Die for it.
Some seek to gain it through fame, others fortune.
But it all ends the same.
In utter misery and blame.
Listener heed me. Put out the flame.
The honest man knows that it can't be achieved, only gained.
To live simply, and simply live.
Daringly, lovingly, and with imperceptive humility.
For no man will forget a man like that.
Monday, April 16, 2012
The Shadow Proves the Sunshine
The thorn. Paul's burden to carry.
For whatever purpose, his second letter to the Corinthians, in which he describes his convictions and experiences with weakness, has been looping itself through my mind. In this passage he reminds us of our frailty as humans and a susceptibility to weakness and strife. The things in our lives that hold as a consistent reminder to keep us from boasting of ourselves.
The simple lyric (and also the title of the song) by Switchfoot has made a tremendous impact and initiated this whole string of thought process. It is one line but it holds an array of symbolism and artistic truth. We humans all have an encumbrance in one form or other that is a part of us, no matter how dark (shadow). It follows us, reminding us of our imperfection. If we are walking in our own way, we seek it and it dominates our path before us. But turn towards the Son, and suddenly it is no longer in the forefront. For his "grace is sufficient" and his "power is made perfect in weakness".
Read it for yourself: 2 Corinthians 12 v.7
For whatever purpose, his second letter to the Corinthians, in which he describes his convictions and experiences with weakness, has been looping itself through my mind. In this passage he reminds us of our frailty as humans and a susceptibility to weakness and strife. The things in our lives that hold as a consistent reminder to keep us from boasting of ourselves.
The simple lyric (and also the title of the song) by Switchfoot has made a tremendous impact and initiated this whole string of thought process. It is one line but it holds an array of symbolism and artistic truth. We humans all have an encumbrance in one form or other that is a part of us, no matter how dark (shadow). It follows us, reminding us of our imperfection. If we are walking in our own way, we seek it and it dominates our path before us. But turn towards the Son, and suddenly it is no longer in the forefront. For his "grace is sufficient" and his "power is made perfect in weakness".
Read it for yourself: 2 Corinthians 12 v.7
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Barriers
The Psalms. They are the bible's little poetic wonder and one of my favourite books. Why, you may ask? Because within it's chapters are spirit-lifting stanzas of praise, sorrow, anger, joy and questioning cries to God. They show beautiful and multi-layered relationships between man and God. For me it shows the rawness of the human spirit that is in Love with God. While there are many uplifting and profound verses all over the place, it's often the smallest, single sentences that catch me.
Psalms 21 v. 13 (Message) was one that grabbed me; "Show your strength God, so no one will miss it." We all have weaknesses or character flaws, or face hardships but as Paul writes about Christ's authority," My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
I face some form of weakness or hardship everyday. Whether it is contesting my pride, mucking through depression, attempting to scramble through a language barrier, or needing God to warm my ice cold heart to show unconditioned love to people. I know my faults bring me down and it's a constant battle and I am just a man. However, wiping that aforementioned cliché from my eyes, I have to be honest with myself, because it kills me to see hypocrisy and lies within my own life. I know there is more to life then slavery to these things, there is more to life then drinking in soul-intoxicating complacency.
I am not saint but I have a great Saviour. As such I will continue to ask he show his strength in me in the areas where I no longer have any so no one can miss recognising him.
2 Corinthians 12 (esp v. 7-10)
Psalms 21 v. 13 (Message) was one that grabbed me; "Show your strength God, so no one will miss it." We all have weaknesses or character flaws, or face hardships but as Paul writes about Christ's authority," My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
I face some form of weakness or hardship everyday. Whether it is contesting my pride, mucking through depression, attempting to scramble through a language barrier, or needing God to warm my ice cold heart to show unconditioned love to people. I know my faults bring me down and it's a constant battle and I am just a man. However, wiping that aforementioned cliché from my eyes, I have to be honest with myself, because it kills me to see hypocrisy and lies within my own life. I know there is more to life then slavery to these things, there is more to life then drinking in soul-intoxicating complacency.
I am not saint but I have a great Saviour. As such I will continue to ask he show his strength in me in the areas where I no longer have any so no one can miss recognising him.
2 Corinthians 12 (esp v. 7-10)
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