There are many times in my life where a relationship felt incomplete, where I would be left with the question, “Does this person have love for me?” The answer is; of course they do, but perhaps it just deep love being unreturned, the simple fact that my love for them might be greater than their love for me.
This brought me to wonder if this case is true for me. What causes me to have shallow love for others? A few realizations came to mind:
1. Often times love expressed is simply to fill an appetite. We are selfish creatures, only basically concerned with meeting our own needs; hanging out with someone to fulfill a need for entertainment, or doing a favour for someone, knowing they will return it someday. What if I was more concerned with meeting other’s needs? What would my relationships look like then?
2. Sometimes love has to be generated by an atmosphere. In a romantic sense; a rose, candle light, or sweet music. Friendship wise; some sports, good food and drink, or a great movie. Yet as I have hear it said, “Real love loves at all times, at the butt-crack of dawn or at gentle twilight, and whether the odor is Chanel No.5 or ‘Perspiration No. 6.’”
3. Most love becomes disinteresting once acquired. I hate this one the most but I know I’ve done it. Often it is the being or having of the relationship that people desire more than the object of the relationship. The worst is when it this happens in relationships with other people, especially if it comes down to bragging rights. Gaining the relationship is just the commencement; real character is never satisfied at this depth.
4. Often love never knows the degree or availability of depth. What do I mean? It should never be simply “in love or out of love” or love or no love. As one begins to learn how to love a whole world of possibilities and growth opens:
“When someone loves you, the way they way your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”
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