This is why I want to step away from those types of love, and yet this is why I am not saddened so much if someone doesn’t love me as much as I love them:
1. The line dividing positive and negative should be low. The ideal is that it should take very little to bring pleasure, and much to bring displeasure. I want to find more satisfaction in loving rather than being love. This. Is. Hard. But I want my joys to be wrapped up in the giving instead of the receiving.
2. It is good to take a trip, it is better to have a partner. I have not come to understand this more than being here in Kenya. Being alone is SO HARD. Yet I feel every day that it is better for me to love while alone, than to not love at all. Sure I am on this leg of the journey physically alone, and it isn’t as great at sharing it with another, BUT it is infinitely better than not knowing at all.
3. An unreciprocated love is a window into G-d’s heart. In that moment that love is unreturned, we get a glimmer of G-d’s nature. The purpose for creating humanity was so that we might love and have a relationship with G-d. We choose (often times daily) not to share in that relationship, nevertheless G-d does not withdraw that love. When I feel unreturned love it sucks, but it reminds me of my selfishness and to choose Love.
4. Love shouldn’t stop when it is unreciprocated or the ‘times’ change. I don’t want to forget the pretty when it becomes ugly, the young when it becomes old, or richness when it is poor.
I want to remain lovable even if it is never returned; to keep my character and personality full of the things that satisfy what other people crave. If someone needs a kind word, I want to provide a refreshing sentence, and if someone is desperate for a shoulder to cry on, I want to be that shoulder. I want to keep having what other people need.
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