These Hard Times

These few weeks have been rough. In a lot of ways they have been adventurous and I've gotten opportunities that I didn't think I'd get for a while, like being able to see family and friends I didn't believe I would see for a long time.

However, I find myself fighting depression.

Everything is unbelievably unknown. I'm facing having a long term dream crumble down around me and possibly come to and end. I'm miles away from friends that I love so much and are continuing an amazing journey without me. I find myself riding a roller coaster of emotions that change with the slightest instance. All the while trying to look through the smoke where the answers and the truth seem like they have cut their ties.

It's not clear to me anymore the answers to the ugliness that I feel.  I want the answers to what I need.
I feel like I'm hiding in the shadows, afraid of the light. I feel like I'm simply standing on the outside of where I'm meant to be and the door has been slammed shut in my face.

All I can do is pray.

   Give me the answers
   Give me the way out
   Give me the faith to believe in these hard times

   Show me which way to move
   Show me motivation
   Show me all my heart desires, when I feel like you're not around

   For I'm a troubled mind and a callused heart
   A failing engine that was trying way to hard
   Always second-guessing that little voice I used to hear
 
   I'm finally broken from falling to far
   Burning up, I'm trying to pick up the pieces and searching for healing from the scars
   I ask you take this cup from me cause the fear of the future is stealing all my sleep
 
   Help me in this hour of doubt and darkness
   Cause who I am affects not just me
   So give me the strength, so that love can finish telling this tale.